Smile-breaks
Things Change...
I missed you during March. I hope you missed me these past few weeks – well, not me, but the silly things I write about. Things changed for me while you were missing me – or not missing me. My guy passed away. Not expected, but not unexpected. Now it’s me and our son, Paul, at the house. Paul’s the greatest. Slightly disabled. Super companion.
What I wanted to tell you is how all of this changed my whole view of people. I’ve always liked people, but I never knew how truly good they are. I couldn’t believe how many people showed up at the service – people from years ago; people from far away; neighbors from our old neighborhood; people from where he used to work, people from where I used to work, people from where I work now.
Flowers arrived at the house. Food arrived at the reception. Cards filled with prayers and love stacked up on the table. Offerings of Perpetual Masses for Rol were made by friends and relatives.
I used to hear about funeral services and not attend because, “oh, I didn’t really know him that well.”
Never again. To see so many friends and co-workers and all of those people from so many years ago, almost as if they were coming out of the past into the present. Our present. I never knew how much it mattered that a person showed up to honor a person’s life and offer his/her love to the family. I do now.
And the giving… Rol was an organ donor. It was so much Rol, to be an organ donor. All his life he gave what he had to anyone who needed it, whenever they needed it, no questions asked, nothing expected in return. If you needed your child picked up at school; if you needed to borrow his lawn mower, his car, it was yours. What I didn’t expect was to see the giving continue through those he touched.
A few days after the service, our grandson texted everyone that he had just signed up to be an organ donor, suggested that we become one, too, and gave the link to the website where you could sign up.
Paul goes to physical therapy twice a week. Rol always drove him there and back while I worked. I was worried. Who would drive him now? My work is twenty miles from home; his therapy is in the middle of the day. I called Judy, who works for a home health care company – and also rents a house from us – to learn about their transportation services. She asked, “What days does he go? Where is it? What time?” and then she said, “I’m going to do it. I’m going to be his permanent driver.”
The answer to my prayers, and I hadn’t even prayed yet! She works close to Paul’s therapy and our house isn’t far from hers and Tuesdays and Thursdays weren’t her busy days and “Besides,” she said, “I’m the boss – I can take off whenever I want.”
Paul and I are settling in now. Family is everything. Bryan and Craig, the older sons, keep tabs on us. They stop over to fix the garage door, get the dog groomed, install the new faucet. Christy, our daughter, calls daily from Northern California to check up on us. My sister and brother take Paul to his favorite Starbucks during the week while I’m at work and treat him to a night out at the movies. There’s tons more -
I don’t want to preach. I just want to say there sure are a heck of a lot of wonderful people out there and in here and over by you and in all sorts of places… I’m sure you’ll run into one of them before the sun sets today.