Smile-breaks
It’s Time for a New Remote Control When…
Our remote control’s getting old. Heck, our TV’s getting old. No hi-def, and the thing’s fat. Always was. Sure can’t mount it on the wall.
Three remotes came with the TV. One for the TV, one for the VCR (you can tell the TV’s old) and one for the DVD player. We only use one. The others disappeared long ago because we couldn’t figure out how to get the VCR and the DVD to work. When the VCR worked, the DVD didn’t. When the DVD worked, the VCR didn’t. We gave up.
The TV remote worked fine until about a year ago. Suddenly we had to press the buttons two or three or four times before they responded. At least it did the right thing when it finally connected.
Yep, we tried putting in new batteries. We did that about six months ago. I think that’s when the thing really went bonkers.
Last night we were watching the Chargers trying to beat the XXXXXXXXX. During time-outs and commercials we watched “Desperate Housewives.” Tried to. When the guy I live with got up to get some popcorn I quick grabbed the remote. Pressed the PC button to get back to the game.
This guy I live with and I have totally different ideas about how long a commercial break is. He figures four minutes, maybe more. I stick with three minutes, maybe less. There were two minutes left on the commercial break. I get nervous after a minute and a half. I wanted to get back to the game before the Chargers had a chance to fumble at the two yard line so I pressed the PC button.
The TV went dark. I quick pressed the “on” button and back came “Desperate Housewives.” Pressed PC again.
Nothing happened. I had to press that darn thing three more times before the screen for HGTV popped up and showed two gals sawing wood for shelves.
I carefully pressed the number pad, “0” “8” and the Chargers obediently came back on the screen. A different bunch of Chargers. Philip Rivers was on the sidelines; the defense was on the field.
Did they score? Was it intercepted? What happened? Darned remote! They scored and I missed it. Not often you get to see Michael Turner barreling over the opponents into the end zone. With the football.
The guy came back during the next commercial, just as I was trying to go back to “Desperate Housewives.” Like before, the remote kept not doing anything, no matter how hard I pressed the PC button. I was getting a little – um, well…
He told me there was nothing wrong with the remote. It was me. I just wasn’t doing it right. I was supposed to hold the remote at an angle, facing the wall opposite the TV and press PC.
I tried it. Didn’t work. Maybe I didn’t have the right angle. I tried every angle imaginable. Didn’t work. I gave the remote to the guy.
He pointed it toward the wall and pressed PC. Only once, I think. I couldn’t actually see, but right away, a couple of desperate housewives appeared on the screen.
I keep trying his method and sometimes it actually works. Sometimes. Not usually. Lately I just press PC and wave the remote around and up and down until something changes on the screen.
That’s not all. I’ll press “Mute” and the sound goes merrily on as a couple of guys mud wrestling appear on some offbeat channel. Or it will go back to the previous channel. And you should see me trying to set the time for the commercial break.
So for sure it’s time to get a new remote control. I hope it comes with one of those sleek, slim hi-def TVs.