Smile-breaks
What've We Got?
To fix the phone that I'd only just bought a few months ago, I had to let the ogres at Verizon do what they call "a factory reset." Which, in English is "wipe the phone clean of your life, your friends, your photos..." Funny—I didn't want to do that. But then, I didn't like waking up with a virus every morning, either. The phone—do they even call them that anymore?—or rather my Android, was the one with the virus but it infected me more than it did my Android, which really didn't care.
The Verizon people aren't really ogres but they heartlessly wiped my phone clean and got rid of the virus—along with most of my contacts, all of my photos, my specially picked ringtones and volume settings and a few choice apps. I keep telling myself, patience is a virtue.
But then, at this very same time, my faithful laptop of five years went all unfaithful on me—after eight months of sleeping between work-outs since last January when its on/off button got stuck down in the hole it occupies and wouldn't come up and the geeks at Best Buy said it couldn't be fixed but thank goodness, I know an excellent IT guy. Rob—stop for commercial: Rob of Shipps Consulting—got the button up where it belonged, but he told me not to touch it because if it went back down he probably couldn't get it up again. Not even with Viagra. Oops, sorry...
After the virus hit, my laptop started blinking on and off, which was enough to get me up out of my seat and down to the computer store in a jiff! Being I'm so efficient and determined and goal-oriented and all that good stuff, I ran out and bought a new laptop.
Not quite. I went online to Amazon, my favorite place to use my MasterCard, and discovered buying laptops is not so easy as buying furniture or clothes or exercise equipment—if you're into that sort of thing. Did I want Windows 8 or Windows 10? Certified Refurbished or New? Backlit keyboard? Rotate to tablet? The price alone was enough to send me scurrying offline. I thought computers had come down in price. Not so. Not in the least. Ouch.
I left my laptop blinking for a few days and then I drove over to Best Buy to do some hands-on shopping. This wasn't any better—too many laptops to choose from. Confused, I went home to relax and read my—working perfectly—Kindle. Fingers crossed...
Two days later, relaxed and refreshed, I decided to buy the HP Pavilion I'd seen at Best Buy. Enough of this playing around! Time to make a decision, buy that laptop. Off I went...
It was out of stock. Back to Amazon I went. I got a new Certified Refurbished Dell laptop It's working just fine. And my Android? I refer you to the letter reporting my Android's health to be amazingly excellent, free of all defects and viruses. The letter's from Dr.—what's his name?—yeah, Bornstein. You know the guy, he vouched for one of our presidential nominees, so who could doubt that my Android is fit and ready to take on the task of serving me for the next four years?
I lied about the letter, but yes, all's right with my world—except the TV needs a new remote and has problems with its DVR and the DISH guy's coming out when the new cable box arrives that they didn't tell me I had to order myself because for some reason the tech guy who came out to fix the TV couldn't order it even though he's the one who said I needed one and he's from DISH and…
The good old days are looking better and better.