You prob’ly don’t make them any more, but…

I'll tell you mine if you'll tell me yours

 
     Seems to happen every year. You just get through all the falderal of Christmas and New Year’s lurking around the corner and it’s time to think about making radical changes in your life. Those pesky New Year’s resolutions. I know, you prob’ly don’t do them any more. If you’re anywhere past thirty you know you won’t keep them past January fifteenth, but it’s kind’a fun thinking about them.

     Yep. Thinking about them’s a lot of fun. All those improvements I’m going to make in my dull, boring, less-than-perfect life. All those personality changes that will make me the belle of the ball – or at least something better than the curmudgeon I’m getting to be. All those neat and tidy closets and drawers with only stuff that I really use in them.
      Yep. Sure is fun thinking about it. Visions of sparkling conversations and tidy rooms and lost pounds and generous self-sacrifices and money saved wisely in the bank piling up for future generations.
      Doing it? That’s HARD. First thing, you have to decide how many resolutions to make. So many resolutions, so little will power. Maybe just one good resolution would be best. But what if it’s too hard and I can’t keep it? If I make a bunch of resolutions I might actually keep a couple of them. Or maybe I shouldn’t make any resolutions at all – just be a better person. Naw – that’s a cop out.
      We could choose a whole bunch of resolutions and throw all but one away. Maybe draw straws. Now that would be interesting. Or we could make a pool. You put in your resolutions and I’ll put in mine and we’ll draw to see which ones we have to commit to. But if I draw one of yours and it’s no texting, I’m not buying!
      If I tell you my resolution, will you tell me yours? That way we can keep track of each other. Sort of like AA, or Lent. Oh darn, this New Year’s starting to look dismal. Forget the AA and Lent part, let’s start fresh.
     Okay. I’m going to tackle a bunch of resolutions because, um, I have a lot of things that need resolving. I’m not going to “misplace” anything any more. I will remember exactly where I put my BlackBerry, my keys, my glasses and my – I guess that’s enough. Those are the things I’m always losing.
     And I’m not going to tell you a better way to do whatever it is you’re doing. If it works for you, it will work for me. And I’m not going to take that third piece of See’s candy out of the box. Not until tomorrow anyway.
     I’ll never peek at my text messages while I’m sitting in my car at the stop light. I’ll stop with the multi-tasking and put all my best efforts into what it is I’m doing at the time. I’ll listen to you. Which means I won’t interrupt you halfway through your paragraph. I’ll wait ’til you’re finished.
     I’ll never give advice unless I’m asked for it and then you’ll have to beg, plead and promise you really want it before I’ll open my mouth. And then I’ll keep it short.
     No matter how busy I am, I’ll stop to give you a hand or an ear or whatever it is you need at the moment - unless it’s a lot of money, in which case you’ll have to wait while I go take out a loan.
     So there you have it. A few of my New Year’s resolutions. I can’t wait to start. How about you?

©Sheila Buska 2011.